Jean’s Story -
Should I Hire a Live-in Carer for my Mother?

Audrey

So, Jean, how is your mother getting on? Has she left hospital now?

Jean

Yes, last Wednesday, and very happy about that she is too.

Audrey

I can imagine. You convinced her to go into a care home, then.

Jean

No. Mum’s living back at home. She’s thrilled to bits. And, do you know, getting back to familiar surroundings seems to have made all the difference to her health. The hospital took care of her well enough, but just being able to get back home and sleep in her own bed has done her the world of good – she’s like a new woman!

Audrey

I can imagine. But surely she isn’t fit enough to go home yet. Didn’t you tell me that Rose would need long-term help?

Jean

Yes. You know I still don’t like to admit it to myself, but the fact is that Mum’s not as young as she was. Even before her stroke she wasn’t really herself; she was constantly forgetting things, becoming quite confused at times. She was starting to be a danger to herself. There was that time when she left the gas hob on…

Audrey

I remember. That’s when you started talking about a care home.

Jean

Ken and I agonised about what to do for weeks. But Mum’s a proud woman. She’s always valued her independence so much. Who doesn’t? We wanted her to be safe and well looked-after but I couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving the home she’s lived in since I was little and being sent away to live in a big old house full of strangers, following their routines, eating the meals they chose, not being able to choose her own company. It was bad enough for her having to stay in hospital but at least we knew it would be temporary. I knew we would soon have to make a long-term decision – I think Mum did too – but neither of us could get up the courage to discuss it.

Audrey

But surely there are some very nice care homes now; and you can even take some of your own furniture and possessions with you…

Jean

Yes, I know, she wouldn’t lose everything. She could take some of her things with her, but it’s not the same as being at home, is it? Her house is so full of memories…of Dad, and her children growing up.
Anyway, it’s bad enough for her to lose her health. She didn’t deserve to lose her home too.

Audrey

I suppose so, and besides, your mother’s a very private person. I can’t imagine how she would feel having to be – well, you know – washed and helped onto the toilet by a half a dozen different people every day.

Jean

She would have hated every moment of it. We needed to find an alternative. Of course, I thought about asking Mum to come and live with us but quite frankly, as much as we love her, she can be a bit of a handful sometimes, especially now, with all the care she needs; it would not have been fair on Ken and the kids.

Thank goodness we found Sarah!

Audrey

Sarah?

Jean

Mum’s new full-time carer! Ken and I drove Mum back from the hospital and Sarah met us at the house. She’ll be living with Mum 24-hours a day. (We’ve given Sarah my old room to sleep in actually). It’s great; not only does Sarah help Mum with her personal care but she does all the housekeeping too! Cleaning, laundry, shopping, cooking – her steak and kidney pie’s out of this world! She even drives Mum down to see her friend in Fenton once a week. Sarah does it all; and what’s more, they get on like a house on fire!

Of course Mum still doesn’t like having to rely on someone else to do things for her but I think even she realises that this is by far the best possible outcome. In fact, I think I think she’s pleased to have some company around the house again.

Audrey

And I suppose having a carer who concentrates only on your Mum and her needs, all day, every day, must be beneficial for all sorts of reasons. What a great idea. But who is this Sarah?

Jean

Well, she’s travelled up from Kent. We paid her journey expenses – and what a worthwhile investment! She’s great! She’s about our age, rather an educated lady, actually. She looked after her own elderly parents until they died, then decided to make a career for herself helping others. She’s making a wonderful companion for Mum, and she certainly knows how to keep a home clean.

Audrey

But how did you find her? Have you taken up references already?

Jean

Oh, I didn’t have to. We went for the safest option and booked her through an agency. My GP told me about Consultus. They recruit carers and nurses from all over the country; do all the pre-employment checks like the new CRB police check; verify what training and experience they have…As Ken pointed out, we don’t have the knowledge or the time to recruit healthcare workers. We ought to leave it to the professionals.

Audrey

But what happens if Sarah becomes ill? Or needs a holiday? She can’t be on duty 24 hours a day, seven days a week forever!

Jean

No, of course one person couldn’t possibly cope. So every two weeks or so the agency sends another carer to take over. In two weeks time, Sarah will go home and Jane is coming to take her place – she’s a younger woman, from New Zealand I believe. I’ve talked to her on the phone. Really chatty girl, very upbeat. I think she’ll be just what Mum needs to get her motivated and doing the exercises the hospital consultant prescribed. Then hopefully Sarah will be back a fortnight later but I’m letting Consultus take care of all the arrangements.

Naturally I need to satisfy myself that any new carer is going to be right for Mum, and Consultus appreciate that. When I first called them, the Care Consultants asked me all about Mum and about her needs, her likes and dislikes. Then they told me about a number of different carers, and why they thought each of them would be ideal for her. I liked the woman at the agency; she really knew what she was talking about. The company’s been in business since 1962, you know; and their Care Consultants have been doing the job for an average of ten years.

Audrey

Well it all sounds perfect. But you’ll want to keep some control over which people live in Rose’s house, won’t you?

Jean

Absolutely! In fact, in a way, the carers work for us, not the agency. We pay them ourselves, give them room and board and just send a nominal weekly fee to Consultus to cover the costs of the agency’s on-going recruitment and administration. Naturally there are certain terms and conditions of business in place to stop any of their carers being exploited by anyone, but essentially, we’re in charge.

What’s more, I can meet the carer on arrival and see the handover between the outgoing carer and her replacement. That way I satisfy myself that both carers have been – or will be – suitable, and I can get Mum’s views on the subject too.

Audrey

And if your mother’s health improves?

Jean

Well, we’re praying that it will. And if it does, then we can simply stop the service immediately. Similarly, if her health deteriorates then Consultus can supply a qualified nurse to take over.

Audrey

It sounds marvellous, but – how can I put this delicately – doesn’t it cost an arm and a leg for your mother to have her own personal carer?

Jean

Ken was worried about that too but you’d be surprised! It actually costs us less per week than many private homes quoted us. There’s also something called the Attendance Allowance. The Government pays it to Mum and it practically covers the agency’s fee. Of course this arrangement means we can’t sell Mum’s house but, oh, you should’ve seen the look on her face when I told her she’d be going back to her own home to live. That moment was priceless.

And it’s so reassuring to have someone on hand looking after her full-time because, if, God forbid, she does take a turn for the worse then there’s always someone on hand to let me know and to deal with the situation responsibly. How can you put a price on that?

Audrey

Oh Jean, I’m glad everything’s worked out so well for you and Rose.

Jean

Audrey, I can’t tell you how relieved we all are. I’m happy, Ken’s happy and, above all, Mum’s happy.